


We Had It All

by upzaynmalikass



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Concerts, M/M, Past Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson, solo zayn - Freeform, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 17:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5425604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upzaynmalikass/pseuds/upzaynmalikass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn's first London concert. He finds a surprise in his dressing room afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Had It All

Zayn can’t remember the last time he felt like this. Sure, it doesn’t hold a candle to all the times he found himself on stage with the four boys who came to be his brothers, but he’s found performing alone can be quite the rush. Something about being there, surrounding by people who are there for him—it’s liberating. Still, something inside of him wishes he were back on the X Factor, when things were so much simpler—joking around with the other boys on stage, having a laugh; but most of all, being able to look at Louis from across the stage, knowing they’d always have each other’s backs in a way none of the others could imagine. He thought that would never end, the way they felt about each other, but after he left the band, it was obvious Louis wanted nothing more to do with him; he didn’t get so much as a phone call or text from him or any of the others.

 

The show is wrapping up, and Zayn tries to clear his head. It’s his first time performing alone in London, in his home. He thanks the crowd for coming out, which is met with thousands of screaming voices moving over each other, jumbling together and making their way to Zayn. His last song is My Ways, and every time he sings it, it takes him back months ago to that first time he sent the demo to Louis. They hadn’t talked in a while, but Lou instantly called him to tell Zayn how proud he was. The conversation was short and turned awkward quickly, and they didn’t speak again after that. Before he starts, he takes a minute to look around the venue. His first tour, and most of the shows were sold out. Not bad, he thinks to himself, not at all. He mentally thanks the boys who made this possible for him, because no matter how little they talk, or how hurt and betrayed he felt, they’d still always be the ones who made him the man he is now.

 

After the show, he heads to his dressing room. He doesn’t feel like talking to the crew and the few friends who sometimes hang out backstage, and they all know that some nights he just needs a minute to himself. When he gets to his dressing room, the usually locked door is already open. He shakes it off as he pushes himself through the entrance, and what he sees stops him dead in his tracks. Someone is sat on a chair with his back facing the door, but Zayn already knows who it is. He shuts the door harder than he means to, and Louis’s head snaps around to look at him. They stare at each other for a moment before Louis nervously breaks the silence. “Fancy seeing you here, mate.” Zayn glares at him in response, and Louis just looks more nervous than ever. “What are you doing here, Lou?” He means to sound fierce and angry, but his voice comes out quiet and resigned, almost sad. Louis shakes his head, obviously unsure of the reason himself. “How have the boys been? Haven’t heard from them in a while,” Zayn asks, trying to keep the conversation going despite the anger building up inside him. “They’re okay, still a bit bent up about you.”

 

“Doesn’t seem like it, it looks like you all love to have a joke about me behind my back.” Zayn feels the fire burning behind his eyes as he remembers the time Harry said the hardest part about him leaving was the “paperwork,” because joke or not, it fucking hurt. Louis just looked at him, seemingly on the verge of laughter. “Remember when you had a life and stopped making bitchy comments about mine?” he asks, reminding Zayn that he too was just as guilty of thoughtless words as any of the rest of the band. They look at each other a moment longer and Louis expectantly asks Zayn if he’s going to say something. “What do you want me to say, Lou? That I’m tired of all of you ignoring me? Erasing me from your lives as if I wasn’t part of it for five fucking years? Because mate, if I’m being honest, it hurts like hell.” Well aware that he’s practically shaking, Zayn stops talking to gauge Louis’s expression. He is now standing, is face much closer to Zayn’s than it had been in a long time. “I missed you,” he half-whispers. Zayn can hear the faint crack Louis’s voice gets when he’s about to cry. “I missed you so much, Z. You have no idea.” He reaches out, dragging his finger across Zayn’s bottom lip. “They wouldn’t let me talk to you. Didn’t want the publicity. You know how it is.” Zayn searches Louis’s eyes and finds nothing but genuine sadness, even regret. He finally gives in, feeling Lou’s touch like it’s the last time, because it very well might be. “I missed you too, Lou. It’s been awful without you. I keep wanting to call you and talk to you about everything that’s been going on with me,” he smiles sadly, ”but then I remember that it’s not the same. We’re not the same.” Louis pulls away and holds Zayn by the shoulders, looking firmly into his eyes. “I still feel the same about you, Z. I’ll always love you, no matter what happens. You know that.” Zayn shudders at that, feeling the electricity that drew him to Louis in the first place. He always knew Louis loved him, but hearing him say it after all that’s happened between them brings a relief he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. “I love you too.” Zayn surprises both of them by closing the distance between their lips. He gently presses against Louis, who responds by running his fingers along Zayn’s jawline and then moving them to his hair and pressing their lips closer and more roughly together. Zayn pulls away to lock the door, and then pushes Louis back down on the couch, each of them muttering fervent I love you’s to the other.

 

Louis stops Zayn after a few minutes of climbing clumsily over each other. “Maybe we should take it slow. We’ve just got back into it, I don’t want to do anything you’d regret.” He looks at Zayn with a pleading look in his eyes, obviously unsure if Zayn really wants this or is just glad to have a familiar face “Lou, you know I want this. I want you.” He kisses Louis again, on the neck, the jaw, the nose, and finally on the lips.

 

They lay there for a while, silent except for their heartbeats. Zayn listens to Louis breathe, feels Louis hands in his hair, senses everything about him and falling in love with the man for the umpteenth time. He can’t help feeling like he’s finally home.

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic:) I had a lot of zouis angst TBH


End file.
